I fuckin' rule
[Recent Entries][Archive][Friends][User Info]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "ego everbero tergum" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
|
04:19 pm
[Link] |
My new site
I recently found out that I was listed on Maddox Mania as a knock off. Fine, have it your way. Consider me a knock-off if you must. I'll still beat your ass like it's an ass-beating carnival. Visit my new site for further beatings.
My new badass site
|
|
01:18 am
[Link] |
LJ still sucks
This kick-ass site had virtually no traffic back when it was hosted here. Now that it is hosted on deadjournal. I have a shitload of comments from people I have never met. Thanks for nothing, Livejournal.
|
|
01:18 am
[Link] |
I'm outta here
Livejournal has pissed me off for the first and last time. I've rehosted my site. Check it out here.
http://www.deadjournal.com/users/dumpsterkeeper/
|
|
05:24 pm
[Link] |
UTA Can eat my ass
For those of you who are lucky enough to live somewhere besides Utah (LA, New York, Iraq, Hell), UTA is the Utah Transit Authority. They're in charge of all the buses and crappy trains that plague this wretched city. Since I am currently a dumbass with no car I have to ride the shitbox UTA buses to get to and from work. This is NOT a pleasent expierience. We'll start off on the long list of why UTA sucks with the man in charge: The bus driver.
This asshole has absolutley NO FUCKING CLUE what he's doing. Every morning I get up at 6 AM so I can make it to wok by 7:30, and this guy never fails to prove that there are actually people out there so stupid that they couldn't graduate from a Utah public school. I get on teh bus every morning, and instead of driving, he's always shooting the breeze with some old titbag with the dustiest crotch in the world. I don't know why this bus driver wants to bone her so bad, but it's blatently obvious that he does. He's always saying the worst things to, if he's not saying something incredibly racist, or planting his lips deep within the cornholes of the mormon church leaders, he's being just plain fucking stupid. This asshole actually gets pissed off at retarded people. That's right. He always talks about how he hates when a handicapped guy gets on the bus because that means he'll have to get off his fat, lazy, racist ass and help the dude buckle his wheelchair in. As if they could do it themselves? If they didn't crush a rib trying to lean over the armrests on their wheelchair to fasten the buckle (which is a mere 1/2 inch of the floor), he wouldn't know what the fuck to do because he is RETARDED. And then he says that the handicapped guys have poor work ethic and that's why they have to ride the bus. No, they have to ride the bus because the government fucks them out of money so badly that the bus is their only option. That and the the whole dead legs thing, you retarded turkey-fister.
Next we shall move on to the actual people who ride the bus. I want to know right now: Why do middle-aged white housewives ride the bus? They have the constant look of ever-present terror on their make0up smeared faces. And if that's not bad enough, they constantly stare at me like I'm wearing a t-shirt that says "The next Columbine Kid"! They aren't even staring in a polite manner, like looking out the corner of their eyes. They get a full-on direct glare at me. And then if I look over at them, they don't even make off like they weren't staring, they just keep it up. As if I'm not going to kill anyone now that this fat white lady is staring at me. Congratulations, desert-cunt, you've averted a disaster with the piercing glare of your "I hope my husband isn't fucking his secretary again" eyes.
Let's move on to old people. These are some of the worst individuals ever. And that's not even when they're on the bus. Old people should all be driven into coal mines where they will toil and slave for the rest of their limited days. Everyone wins, old people are no longer a useless burden to society, suckling on the social security teat until it comes up bone dry, and they all die. Sure, the old people don't win, but nobody loves them anyway.
And finally let's get to the sadistic, unrealistic fuckbrains who just LOOOOOOOVE to chat with EVERYONE! There was this one asswipe who tried talking to me on the bus one time. O was sitting there, listening to my MP3 player, which I had turned way up to drown out all the stupidity that would inevitabely squeeze into my ears and implode my brain if I didn't, and this asswipe next to me decides it's time to strike up the conversation with the one guy who most obviously doesn't want to talk. Didn't the long hair, lip ring, and ever-present scowl of contempt for humanity give you a clue that I don't want to talk right now? No, of course not, you'd have to have some kind of grasp of the obvious to notice that. Here's a script of the conversation that happened, we'll this guy Dumbass Terry, since I didn't want to know the titwillow's real name.
Dumbass Terry, Devourer Of Phalli: Duhhh, is that an iPod?
Duke Of All Ass-Kickery: No, do I look like a sucker? It's better than an iPod, and not overpriced because some shithouse band advertised it.
DT:DoP: Durrrr, urrrrppppp, iPods rule!!!
DoAAK: (throws Dumbass Terry out the bus window as everyone cheers at how badass he is)
So, to conclude:
-Everyone besides me sucks
-A fat, bald bus driver whose only aspiration in life is to bang some dried up old skeleton clearly has it better than a retarded guy who gets to go to camp and is given free t-shirts and hugs all the time
-We should nuke Salt Lake City
|
|
10:22 pm
[Link] |
This sunday
This Sunday is Easter. Which means the ban on swearing will be lifted. Which, in turn, means that there will be an incredibly awesome entry on Sunday. Stay tuned, kids.
|
|
09:59 pm
[Link] |
Everybody except me should die
A very wise man once said "Everybody sucks". His name was Butt-Head. He had the right idea. Everybody does suck. Except for me. I rule. But everyone else should die. I made a diagram of how I am better than you.
 
Clearly, you suck, and I rule. Just look at my awesome sword.
I have a double-standard I came out with recently. Here's how it works.
I control everything
You will consult me on every matter that affects me in any way shape or form, in the universe or any parallel universes. This also applies to other dimensions. I will then tell you if what you are about to do is allowed.
I will never consult anyone when I do anything, even if it does affect them, and they shall make no attempt to stop me.
I hope everything has been cleared up now.
|
|
08:44 pm
[Link] |
Why Green Day sucks
Once upon a time, over 10 years ago, there was a band that didn't suck so much. They called themselves Green Day. They wrote songs that were kind of cool. Songs like "Longview" and "Brain Stew". These songs were alright, and not very offensive to the ear. However, 10 years later, it was the year 2004. Green Day had worn out there welcome, and weren't as not sucky as they used to be. However, they were indeed popular, and rich. Rather than step away from the spotlight gracefully, realizing that it's hard to appeal to youngsters when you are no longer youngsters, they chose another path. They decided to abandon their image of being OK, and come out with a new album entitled "American Idiot". In this album, they made a song which was named after the album. This song boasted that they didn't want to be "American Idiots". And that America was "One nation controlled by the media". Many idiot teenagers that thought themselves to be rebels blasted this song all the time, and there was much rejoicing among the retarded many. However, they failed to realize, that Green Day indeed were "American Idiots'. For they had the money to leave America for a country where they could be equally well-known. And that they were the media that was controlling people. However, the story does not end here. They decided to put another sng on this album. A song entitled "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams". This song claims that they "walk alone on the boulevard of broken dreams". When the fact of the matter is, incredibly popular rock stars with mountains of currency do not walk alone. And they certainly have no broken dreams. However, Green Day continued to be hypocrites, and continued to make money off of pathetic teens with no minds of their own. And I lived miserably ever after.
Current Music: not Green Day
|
|
12:12 am
[Link] |
Foamy sucks, and you're not dark
So recently I heard some jerk say he was "The kind of screwed up guy who likes Foamy" I did little research and found out it was some webtoon. I gave it a watch and it gave me further reminder of why you should have to get a lisence to even THINK about buying Flash MX. It's the crappiest series I have ever seen. They ripped off the art style from Invader Zim (which is a solid show, but anyone who is a fan of it should die), and on top of that, it ISN"T ENTERTAINING AT ALL. Whoever actually laughs at this isn't "screwed up", they're just stupid. People think that they're all dark depressed, and messed up, when the fact of the matter is, they aren't. I was recently on a forum where this guy was talking about how his friend tried to kill himself over his webcam. After I pointed out that his friend is a spoiled selfish little turd because his friend called him up and tried to do it over his webcam (which he wouldn't have if there was any REAL REASON to kill himself) and told him that I hope his friend does die (which got me suspended from said forum), I also pointed out that he obviously doesn't care if his friend dies, and is just as selfish as his friend because he's flapping his gums on a web forum with a bunch of strangers rather than, oh say GOING TO TALK TO HIS FRIEND!!!! Goths all deserve to have their bungholes filled right to the rim with searing hot coals and should have their spleens ripped out through their navals. A service I would be glad to provide free of charge. If suicidal people want to die so bad, it should be legal to kill them. They want to die, I want them dead, everybody wins.
Oh, and expect to see one of these little guys on every entry from now on. Your future king needs some viewers
|
|
04:10 pm
[Link] |
Lent
I have decided to give up swearing for Lent, hence there will be no entries until Easter, at the earliest. Good day.
|
|
03:18 pm
[Link] |
So now I'm the dumbass?
Take the following quiz.
Ghosts are real
A) True
B) False
If you answered anything other than B, you are a fucking idiot. No exceptions, you're just a fucking idiot. Recently on a web forum I visit, but can't seem to remember why I visit, there have been about 50,000 new topics concerning ghosts. Every single person to start such a topic believes that ghosts are real. That's right, they are all fucking retards. They sit around discussing where they have seen a ghost, people they know whom have seen ghosts, and it just goes on and on. I finally step in and tell them to pull their heads out their asses and quit living in such a fuckin' fantasy world. And you know what happens? They acted like I WAS THE RETARD. That's right, tons of people treating me like an idiot because I know that ghosts are bullshit. To try and prove me wrong, they showed me a few pictures of their so-called "ghosts".
I have rehosted said images here, so you can see exactly what they were talking about.
  
Oh, well I felt like a jackass after this. I mean, just look at those pictures! That's irreputable proof that ghosts indeed walk among us! No way is that lense flare or condensation, you god damned dillusional parrot clits!! In case you couldn't see the ghosts before, I have used photoshop to enhance the pictures so the ghosts are as clear as day!
  
Well, there you have it! Looks like I was actually wrong for once, ghosts are real! Looks like I owe someone an apology. Idiots.
Current Mood:  angry
Current Music: "The Ghosts Aren't Fucking Real Song" - The Non-Ghost Band
|
|
08:00 pm
[Link] |
The list
For years I have had an actual written list of people who need murdering. Many (none) of you have asked what the list is. Here it is, ya curious fuckbags
-George Bush (Sr. and Jr.)
-The idiots from allakhazam.com
-Lindsay Lohan
-The Olsen Twins
-Metallica
-Aviril Lavinge
-Hillary Duff
-Kelly Clarkson
-Clay Aiken
-Fantasia Barrino
-Simon Cowell
-Ryan Seacrest
-Justin Timberlae
-Cameron Diaz
-Julia Roberts
-Julia Stiles
-Leonardo DiCaprio
-Those "Queer Eye" corpse rapers
-Franz Ferdinand
-Ricky Martin
-Jessica Simpson
-Nick Lasey
-Ashlee Simpson
-Madonna
-Beyonce'
-Britney Spears
-Seann William Scott
-The cast of "The O.C."
-Idiots who watch "The O.C."
-Rich people
-the 1337ists
-People who play Counter-Strike, ever
-People who play games at Hastur Hobbies
-Police
-Bill O'Reily
-Patricia Heaton
-Ray Romanno
-Ray Romanno's kids
-Homophobic 12-year-olds
-People who live in Hollywood
-People who live in Malibu
-People in general
I hope this clears up any confusion. More to come as I am reminded of more people who piss me off. And as for any spelling nazis, which I have recently encountered, here is a book you might like.
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: "Eat Shit" - Some fuckin' band
|
|
12:38 pm
[Link] |
I fuckin' hate
I don't know if I ever told you this, but I fuckin' hate it when somebody uses the word "glomps". Whenever I see someone use it online, or worse yet, actually say it in real life, I weld their asshole shut and punch them in the face so hard the it makes their eyes turn inside out and burst out of their stomach.
Oh, and by the way... Where the fuck are my comments, you ungrateful ape cocks?
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: "Another Brick In The Wall" - Korn (I know it's a cover,ass)
|
|
05:54 am
[Link] |
Nice mailerbot, jackass
Today I go to check my email. It has a pretty good spam filter, but some jackass managed to get through it by misspelling a bunch of things. Here's what it said
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello my friend Lok,
Life is so tedious and I know that U need something new to become
satisfied.
Do you want to seee a daughhter enjoying her father’s meat or a mother
giving her wide hole to a lusty son right before the Polaroid camera?
Geet to thhe right portal
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was entitled "Hello Mr lok"
My email adress is lok_raziel_lok@yahoo.com So this dumbass just programs the bot to use the first few letters of the adress as a name. Nice job shitbag, you gave away the elemnet of surprise. And I don't know who the fuck told them I wanted to "see a daughhter enjoying her father's meat" but I FUCKING DON'T!!!. Asshole.
|
|
03:40 am
[Link] |
Jessica Simpson is a stupid lying bitch
I hate this bitch. I really fucking hate Jessica Simpson. She's an abyssmal singer with shit between her ears and I bet her nipples are inside out. I recently was reminded of how much I fucking hate her when I saw a commercial for some bullshit acne cream called "Proactiv". Clever name retard, you took a made-up word that only pretentious dumbasses use and took the e off the end so you could copyright it. Very fucking original, dumbass. In the commercial she's standing around with her usual "Nobody behind the fucking wheel" look on talking about how when she started singing, she had bad acne. It shows a few pics of her "bad" acne. She had a few hardly noticeable zits on her face, real fuckin tragic. Why don't you take a look at a few friends of mine and tell me your acne was bad again, you shallow cunt. She claims they had to edit it out whenever she did a video, which proves how much of a shitty singer she is. If she was in any way talented, people wouldn't give a parrot's clit about how she looked. For living proof, just take a goddamn look at Mick Jagger. Enough said. She also makes me sick because she makes money off of being a stupid whore. She is paid to do a TV show where she sits around saying stupid shit and her husband has the constant look of "I can't fucking believe anyone could be so god damned dumb". She also does commercials which feature her being a dumbass. And on top of all this bullshit, she's a fucking liar. She claims that now using this bullshit aloe vera cream had made her skin look so good that she doesn't even need make-up. And the dumb bitch said it while wearing lipstick, masquere, eye-shadow and fucking lipgloss. If thngs ran the way I wanted them to (i.e. The RIGHT way) she would have her ovaries ripped out through her nostrils and tied around her neck until she fucking sffocated.
UPDATE: At least her no-talent sister got exposed for the lip-syncing piece of rat shit that she is. I never laughed harder when I saw her get booed off the stage at the Orange Bowl.
Current Mood: I fucking hate you
Current Music: "Maynard's Dick" - Tool
|
|
06:00 pm
[Link] |
The suck awards
I have decided to start a new award. This is similar to my old Douche Of The Week award, but with a few fundamental differences. This would be an award show I have every year. But instead of honoring accomplishment, it would punish those whose who have done something to piss me off..... severely. If you pissed me off in some way, you would be murdered. That's how it goes. Piss me off enough, you're murdered. And not in a quick way either, I would have several convicted felons sent to your door, minutes after taking a large amount of horse steroids and crack, and rip off your asshole, bite off your lips, shoot you in the ovaries (if you have them) and after several hours of cruel torture, you would finally be shived. The most hated dis-honoree would have the honor of recieveing a 12 day torture session from yours truly. Then they would be left to rot in the Mojave Desert. I kick ass.
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: "I Kick Ass" Benny And The Evil Closet Monkeys (my band)
|
05:55 pm
[Link] |
A recent criticism
I was recently told that I had been recieving more than 2 unique visitors. Apparently one of them thought my web page kicked ass. This man is going to be given a life-size satue of Paul Bunyan himslef, made of pure gold. However the other thought I was a racist, misogynist fuck. This person will be stabbed in the heart with a golden knife. It was later revealed to me thatthe person who thought I sucked was a pre-op transexual. Which instantly made hir opinion invalid. This is true due to the following two reasons.
-Shi is too damn confused to even know what gender shi is supposed to be.
-Shi wouldn't know sattire if it came up and ripped off her soon-to-be-inexistant balls.
Current Mood: killing trannies
Current Music: "Set it off" - Audioslave
|
05:43 pm
[Link] |
The Saga of Dr. Whoopass
I recently mentioned the most badass superhero ever in an entry about how much Silent Hill sucks. I recieved countless (one) questions about him. So here is his full story. My brother (www.livejournal.com/users/kempnerius) and I were recently reading about how much Lobo kicked ass, so we decided to creat a superhero even more badass than Lobo. An hour later we emerged with the following biography: Dr. Whoopass was the son of a badass lumberjack and a boulder. That's right, his dad was so badass that he would only have sex with boulders for two reasons:
-He rated incredibly high on the colon-stomping scale
-His undoubtebly enormous penis would rip any oridnary woman in half.
When Dr. Whoopass was just a little boy he was only given lit sticks of dynamite to play with. This quickly turned him into one tough son of a bitch. For his 13th birthday, his dad surprised him by kicking him off a cliff and throwing 15 hatchets at him as he fell. When Dr. Whoopass wsa hungry, his dad would not give him food, but a toothpick, and send him out into the woods to hunt grizzly bears. If he brought home anything less than a 250 pound grizzly bear, his dad would beat him, stab him, and send him back out into the woods with only half a toothpick. Dr. Whoopass once headbutt an oncoming freight train just for pissing him off, and then he ate said train out of spite. His hobbies include eating rusty flaming knives, and spiking babies. In the time he spends not beating the ass of his arch-nemesis, Captain Hippy, he works for demolitons companies, smashing buildings with his face. The only reason he became a superhero was because he was tired of catching bullets with his heart, and he didn't wanna be hassled by The Man for dispensing ass beatings.
My brother and I intend to turn this into the greatest movie of al time. The movie will be nothing but him killing hippies, and generally destroying anything that pisses him off. Which is of course, everything.
Current Mood:  beating ass
Current Music: The Dr, Whoopass Son
|
05:39 pm
[Link] |
Qutting kicks ass
I rule, because I decided to stick it to the man bigtime. I recently discovered that my janitorial work is no longer temporary at Kohl's, but permanant. With a minor chance of returning to truck unload in the middle of January. I also discovered that I had been scheduled to work 9 days in a row before having a day off. So you know what I did. I quit. Left the corporate bastards high and dry with no janitor for the next two weeks, the busiest two weeks of the year. The only guy that could back me up is a guy who does the job half as quickly as I do, at half the quality. Don't fuck with me.
Current Mood:  unemployed and fucking happy
Current Music: "Para-Noir" Marilyn Manson
|
|
01:06 pm
[Link] |
Another shitty christmas carol
I already hate christmas carols. And here's one getting on my last good nerve.The Twelve Days Of Christmas. It's this ashhole bragging about how his rich spoiled girlfriend keeps giving him stuff. What a materialistic son of a bitch. You know what your true love gave to me on the first day of Christmas? A blowjob. That's right asshole, and she kept giving me more bowjobs each day to match what day we were on. For example, and the fifth day of christmas she gave me five blowjobs. You know what I got on the ninth day of christmas? I got some raunchy sex. On the eleventh day I got to go in through the back door. And finally on the twelfth day my dick was the star of the show when she brought eleven of her hot friends over for more sex than any human should be able to handle. Beats the hell out of your five shitty rings, don't it?
Current Mood: having sex with your true love
Current Music: Something that kicks ass
|
12:13 am
[Link] |
Silent Hill is the shittiest series ever
Why do people keep playing Silent Hill games? The first one sucked major balls, as did the subsequent three. The first one sucked, the second one sucked even more, and the third one was even worse. Here's the basic outline of Silent Hill 3. You play as an ulgy teen girl with freckles and a dumbass haircut. You're at the mall, it's dark as fuck, andthere's 3 monsters there. The monsters aren't even scary. They're just shapeless turds. One looks like a dog, the other looks like a guy with a baseball bat for an arm. These are the shittiest monsters in the universe. Real monsters would shoot acid out of there eyes and melt these little pussies away. You finally get a gun one day. This gun has like 3 bullets in it, and you have to unload an entire fucking clip to kill the weakest of monsters because they won't allow you to move the camera, which is at a shitty angle in the first place, and the ugly bitches aim sucks ass. The storyline revolves around her being scared, and you being suckered into paying 50 bucks a game where you can't see shit that's happening. The game continues to blow ass until the very end, which is a happy ending because the game finally stops. If you want a real kickass game where you get to fight monsters that stomp and exceptional amout of colon, pick up The Suffering. You start off as this guy named Torque going to a prison on an island because you killed your wife and kids. Right off the bat they have a shitload of monsters attack the place. These guys are fucking awesome. They have giant-ass knives for arms and legs and they go around disembowling the shit out of all the guards and inmates just because they can. You get to pull a shiv out a prisoner's corpse and go around cutting all the fucking monsters up like the little bitches they are. About ten minutes into the game you get to turn into a big burly-ass monster and rip any unfortunate son of a bitch you see into pieces. And when you change back into a human, you have blood all over your murdering ass. You meet up with people during the game, and you can choose to either help them, or shoot them in the eye and steal their guns while they sit teir crying like little pussies. During the game you basically go around mutilating badass monsters and killing anything human as much as possible. At the end if you've been a little pussy and helped anyone you see, you get a happy ending where they prove he's innocent. But if you go around being a badass and not taking shit from anybody. A life boat shows up to save you, but you turn into a monster, kill the guy driving the thing, and drive the lifeboat back to the mainland. They should make a sequel to this game where Torque goes around manhatten mutilating women. It would start you off in a mternity ward, and you would rip out all the women's uteruses through there throats and tell them to stop their bitching. Afterward, you would go around the city stomping ass. Every time you killed somebody in a really kick ass way, it would reward you with naked pictures of the planet's hottest women. The game would never end, not until you killed all 6 billion people in the world. When they were all dead, it would end with Torque travelling back in time so he could kill everyone that ever existed. Even the dinosaurs. I think it's high time somebody went back and took out those ugly motherfuckers. Torque is definately one of the most badass guys there is. He's right up there with Lobo, Maddox, and Dr. Whoopass. More info on Dr. Whoopass to come.
Current Mood: not playing Silent Hill
Current Music: Pantera. Pantera kicks ass
|
[<< Previous 20 entries] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
theoriginaldk's journal